''Fig leaves and silkworms''

YellowTimes.org Columnist (United States)

(YellowTimes.org) – Two notes:

1. If you do not have a healthy sense of humor, please do not read this column.

2. This is the shortest article I have ever written and I am sure our editor will be delighted with that bit of information.

Of course, it does not take an Einstein to conclude that I would get all sorts of responses to my column about God and marriage. Most of the readers were quite supportive of my view. However, three accused me of being anti-Catholic. I responded to them by saying that they should not kill the messenger.

I simply iterated the fact that all things being equal, unless there is actual physical intercourse, God's blessings, etc. notwithstanding, the union can be annulled.

While mulling over the responses I received, it dawned on me that this whole matter of placing sexuality into an unhealthy, unsound context in our society was caused by the physical location of the Garden of Eden. Its most likely site was in the Tigris/Euphrates valley.

The Bible tells us when Adam and Eve violated God's injunction not to eat of the tree of knowledge, their eyes were opened. Lo and behold, they realized they were naked. There is no statement that being nude caused any feelings of apprehension, or shame, or guilt. Nevertheless, Eve being a good housewife, one supposes, got busy with needle and thread. She designed and fashioned appropriate garments to cover their nakedness.

Since the local department store was closed, she resorted to the nearest material at hand to make their loin clothes. Fig trees grow abundantly in that part of the world. Their leaves can grow to several inches in size. Eve thought that two or three fastened together would make some pretty neat garments. Quality testing indicated that the leaves were rather sturdy and Eve concluded they might stand up to the daily wear and tear.

Her little hands got busy and before you knew it, here was the first garment industry in the world. What Eve did not take into consideration is just how rough and itchy fig leaves can be. So, here are Adam and Eve walking around all day in their fig aprons. Of course, the things felt most uncomfortable. Please don't argue that point with me unless you, yourself, have walked around with a fig apron in the hot, Middle Eastern sun.

I have not done that but I have rubbed fig leaves over my hands and it was not the most comfortable feeling in the world. It takes no imagination to feel the discomfort of fig leaves on the regions they were to cover.

After a few days of suffering, Adam and Eve began to feel that maybe there must be something bad about their sexual organs. Why else would God let them make these scratchy aprons unless he wished to send them a message about the evils that genitals can cause? So, almost from Day One, after our parents violated God's command, they felt that sex is not a nice thing.

Oh sure, it had to be done in order to propagate the species. Adam tried to make kids out of the "dust of the ground" like God did. However, he couldn't pull it off. So, since he and Eve were commanded to populate the Earth, they had no other option than to take off the fig leaves. Oh, it felt ever so good to get rid of those itchy things. But morning came and they had to put those scratchy things back on again.

This caused a real ambiguity in their lives. On one hand, it felt good to get rid of Eve's creative work as a seamstress. On the other hand, to wear those things all day long caused misery. I think we have been confused about all this ever since.

The question I want to pose to God is why in the world didn't he place Eden in China? We all know there are lots of mulberry trees in China. We also know that silkworms love to eat mulberry leaves. The little critters spin the finest silk after they digest the leaves. Silk is smooth and gentle on the skin. It does not scratch. It does not itch. Its smoothness feels ever so good.

Now, had God decided to put Adam and Eve in the midst of silkworms, the history of the world might have turned out differently. We would not have any ambivalent feelings about our sexuality. It would be as natural as breathing and eating. Dr. Freud might even not have had anything to write about. A cigar would always be a cigar and volumes would not have been written about female jealousy of a certain part of the male anatomy.

When in the world are we going to grow up and develop a healthy, open, sane, and responsible attitude about our sexuality? We certainly cannot do it in the present atmosphere of polarization.

On one hand stand legalistic churches with all sorts of proscriptions and condemnations. Resentment to that life-denying stance finds its expression more in rebellion than in the development of life-affirming attitudes. Two sides are pitted against each other. Somewhere there must be a sane way to help us understand our own sexuality.

Why wasn't Eden located in China and not in the Middle East? Damn!

[John Brand is a Purple Heart, Combat Infantry veteran of World War II. He received his Juris Doctor degree at Northwestern University and a Master of Theology and a Doctor of Ministry at Southern Methodist University. He served as a Methodist minister for 19 years, was Vice President, Birkman & Associates, Industrial Psychologists, and concluded his career as Director, Organizational and Human Resources, Warren-King Enterprises, an independent oil and gas company. He is the author of "Shaking the Foundations" and "Rebuilding the Foundations".]

John Brand encourages your comments: jbrand@YellowTimes.org